Welcome to the Jungle
(for the not so scientifically inclined)
Particle man enters the jungle through the gate. Each path from the gate leads to the same hut. However, there is a huge rockin' Guns 'N Roses (GNR) rave in the middle of the jungle, put on by the wild bushmen. Wimpy particle men whose electrons have been stolen by space bullies are afraid of the loud noise. They stray from their path and end up at a different hut. Neutral particle men, on the other hand, are quite deaf and don't seem to notice the rave.
On the journey to the hut, the particle men must travel through the desert, which is very tiring, sucking up all the energy they have. After this grueling trial, the particle men reach their final destination at the huts, where they are greeted with a honkin' mexican wedding cake. Particles that don't like mexican wedding cake (and there's fewer than you'd think), exit the jungle through the out gate. SKEW THEM!!
Meet the Particle Family:
"I'm a neutral kind of guy. The space bullies didn't get my electrons, so it looks like I'm headed straight for hut 6. I don't mind losing all my energy in the desert, 'cuz I love mexican wedding cake!!"
"I'm not...uhh...a happy particle. The space bullies beat me up and stole all my electrons. The loud music scares me. I am no match for the center plate. I get deflected all the time."
"I'm invincible! I am the king of mass and energy! I rule red-rover, and break on through to the other side of the jungle. I hate mexican wedding cake!"
"I am the head of the outlier gang. Any pixel on the SSD is my turf. I don't need to use the paths of the jungle- I just bushwack. I'm too smart for your machine- you'll never catch me!!"
"Dude, I keep bumping my head on some stupid ceramic thing and can't avoid falling into quicksand. I can't follow a map worth scooby snacks."
"Since I'm under 8, I get into the jungle for free. I don't have enough energy to make a mark on the SSD."
"I'm a GNR groupie. Being the negative rocker I am, I am attracted to the positive beat of the rave in the middle of the jungle. The positive groupies take me in as one of their own and adjust to maintain the same voltage. Rock on GNR!!"
"I'm a calibration alpha. I am the regulatah! When I make it safely home to 710 on the high gain, we know it's all good in the jungle."
" Welcome to the jungle, man. Rock on Guns 'N Roses! We are the bushmen and we like it loud! My high voltage amps shake the jungle. We crash the pixel's party. I SKEW!!!"
Tom Da Bomb:
"I am the annihilatah!! Hey, where's my fudge round?? I smash the bushmen's amps and rid the jungle of their noise."
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